From the beginning to the end. No. There isn’t an end. At least there wont be until I hit the dust, and even then it wont truly be an end because then I’m simply transferred to another place. (and a whole lot of transformations occur 
) Anyhow, I reckon I can let you know exactly what’s been going on up to this point in my life.
It all started when I was 4 years old. Yeah I know – young, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. One evening my brother was telling me all about hell and the horrors it held, and he let me know that Daddy and Mama and a few other siblings along with himself were going to heaven, but I wasn’t. I was going to the other place. Kind of hot talk for 5 year old, but…he was known for that kind of thing. 
Anyway, it was a subject I had never thought on before, so that night I got Mom and Dad alone and I questioned them about the whole deal. They explained all the reasons and details, which made we want to ask Christ to save me. I did so. Now there were no miraculous changes in my life – those came later…over time. As a child I struggled with doubts: “Did I mean it?” “Did I truly understand?” It went on for years, until not long ago when I came to a realization of true faith. Blind faith – an absolute essential.
Several years ago now, is when I saw changes taking place. Just simple Biblical lessons I’ve learned, and life changing ones as well. When we moved up north 6 years ago now, I struggled hard with the adjustment. I did not want to be here, I did not like it here, I couldn’t stand the cold, (not that any of these have changed ) I just plain out disliked it here, and I wasn’t afraid to let people know. The change came when I was able to learn to be content amidst everything I named off. I still don’t like it here, I’d much prefer to be somewhere else, but I’m 100% totally contented here until God moves me elsewhere.
Another change which took place not all that long ago was the desire to serve those around me, especially my family. I took over the schooling of my two youngest siblings this year, which has given me valuable experience for my own family someday. Following some rather hard experiences and circumstances over the last 1 and 1/2 years I’ve realized what true friendship is between siblings. I’m extremely hard faced, which makes it difficult for me to express things to others, especially appreciation or anything soft, yet I’ve realized that my holding back held others back which held good sibling friendship back.
The latest lesson learned or rather being learned (I don’t claim to have any of these lessons down pat or learned perfectly – they’re all still a learning process for me) is the case of entering womanhood. I’ll admit, after growing up slabbed right dab in between two boys 16 months younger than one 14 months older than the other, I grew up a tomboy. I had no desire whatsoever to be a “lady”. Even in my mid-teenage years I hadn’t given up any of it. I didn’t want to grow up. There were two major reasons for my character. So many older girls I knew were so stuck up. They would never dream of playing outback the church with a bunch of little kids. My “toughness” came from the lack of the same that I saw in boys. That’s one thing I believe in – boys should be tough. You want to get me ticked *really* bad? Set a wimp of a sissy in front of me! (And yes, I’d probably teach him…) But even to this day, I wont get over how few *true* men there are out there, though I have realized that my being tough isn’t going to change them in the least. And another factor was the appreciation the young children showed for my “childishness”. Nevertheless, though it took a day and a half of eternity before I finally let God get His viewpoint across, I finally realized that it was high time for me to be training for womanhood so that someday I could handle a home and family. What hit home was the random thought one time that “If God brought my man across my path at that time, I would not be ready for him.” I realized I wanted to be ready when God brought my prince into my life, and no matter what, I did not want him to have to wait for me! Thus, I am currently on my journey to womanhood. But, even after I attain such, I still want to be “childish” enough to reach the youngest.
